Wednesday, November 25, 2015

A Virtuous Woman...Who Can Find?

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”
Proverbs 31:10

If your anything like me you are striving to be this virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. She is a godly wife and mother who seems to have it all together. I'm not too concerned about having it all together all the time, but I am concerned about being a godly wife and mother. I've realized though that I am a selfish person. On the outside nobody would probably know that, but I can feel it on the inside. I once heard a preacher say that the bottom line of all sin is selfishness. I've talked in a previous post about pride and how toxic pride can be and selfishness kind of goes hand in hand with that. So, to get my mind off self and onto things more eternal I decided to do an in depth study of Proverbs 31. I will probably break it down into several posts, but I thought I'd share with you my thoughts on the chapter and also how I will be applying it to my own life and the results of that. 

“10. A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11.Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 
12.She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”
Proverbs 31:10-12 NIV

Verse 10 is the introduction to the virtuous woman. The NIV version translates virtuous to noble character, which is defined as having good moral character. If this type of wife/mother was hard to find in their day imagine what they would think about in today's society??  

I like the KJV version better of verse 11. It says, 
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.”
I like the words "safely trusts in her". Our husbands should trust us, which for me is never something I really thought about. I guess I automatically assumed he did, but I never have asked. He lacks nothing, which to me translates that we should make sure our husbands have everything they need to be successful. For me that would mean making sure my husband has something to eat and has clean work clothes. Those are probably the two areas that I sometimes lack at (I'm telling you my selfishness is bad sometimes). 
Husbands also have other needs (ahem) that us tired mommas tend to forget about, so let's try to be more mindful of those as well. 

Verse 12 is a big pill to swallow. "She brings him good not harm all the days of her life". I have to be nice to my husband? Everyday? All day? Til I die?!? I'm going to be completely honest, which I've told this to my husband before, but I generally save my "niceness" for when I go out in public or to my kids, but even then it's marginal. Yes, you all I was not kidding when I said this selfishness was bad. Thank the Lord, He is still working on me and hasn't given up on my poor selfish soul. My husband gets the last little ounce of kindness within me and sometimes there's not even an ounce. I can only imagine what it would do to my life and his if I used the majority of my kindness toward him. I'm going to be completely honest. He is the toughest person to be kind to though because he generally only sees me in the morning and late at night which is when I am the most tired and have the least amount of energy and he also isn't the Proverbs 31 husband so we have two really imperfect people who are both full of selfishness. Usually one of us is trying to be kind and do the right thing and the other one is in stuck in selfishville so if we could both get on the same page we would change the world (exaggerating slightly), but I cannot change him that's something only God can do (something I've realized after many failed attempts). I'm only in control of me so change has to start with me, Amen!? 

So, to review these three verses as a checklist of sorts...
A Virtuous Woman:
1. Has good moral character
2. Her husband trusts her
3. She supplies all her husband's needs
4.  She is always kind to her husband

Don't forget! We can't do any of these things on our own strength, so don't forget to pray that the Lord would change your heart and help you to become more like this virtuous woman. Join me tomorrow as we talk about verses 13-15! 

What are your thoughts on verses 10-12? What are you going to do differently today to make for a better tomorrow? 

Love to you all! 



Saturday, November 21, 2015

Parenting in the 1950's


I love and am fascinated with anything from the 1950's. Although I know in realty it was probably not the perfect painted picture that we all think of when we think of the 1950's it still was time where the majority of people lived the lifestyle I live now. The dad goes to work and the mom stays home and takes care of the children. I have always been fascinated with the 1950's since I was a young girl. I always loved the 1950's section of Dollywood and the shows where they sing 1950's music. And I love watching Leave It To Beaver (although I'm sure life wasn't that perfect).
Now as a parent I look back on that time and look at how kids were raised because I always here my grandparents and older people that were children back then say "if I had acted like that my mama would have whooped me". Back then kids were taught to obey and respect their parents and elders. It seems like everyday it is getting worse and worse with children not respecting adults. There were things back then that were no doubt too harsh of punishment, but I'm not talking about that kind of punishment.

Here's where I have trouble being a "1950's parent": back then the world did not revolve around their children. Gasp! One lady who raised children in the 1950's said when she would get together with her friends they would talk about the news, current fashion, knitting, etc, but never about their children. That's all I talk about to anybody really is my children!  Those women who were seen as perfect housewives rarely talked about their children! Nowadays if you have children and you don't talk about them constantly people will think you don't care about them. 

Here's a list of expectations of children back in the 1950's and I would love to instill these manners in my children like standing when an adult enters the room and not leaving the dinner table without asking to be excused. 
"Children had to stand up on any occasion when an adult would enter the room, even if that adult was the child's parent. On the bus, it was expected that boys would give up their seat for a woman or anyone senior in age and also give up their places in line for the bus. You could never leave the table at dinner time without asking permission first. Children had to say "please" and "thank you," and if they didn't use these words correctly, they would be informed by adults that they were being rude. When wearing a hat, it would be suitable etiquette to take it off when going indoors, into a shop or when talking to a lady on the street. A child would be taught to say, "I would like," and was taught never to say the words, "I want." Opening the door for someone, especially a woman or an adult, was necessary, as was letting her exit before the child did so."
Maddox is almost 3 and I already feel like he doesn't respect me as an adult and as his mother as much as he should, so that will definitely be something I will take away from my research into 1950's parenting. 

As far as baby care, back then they gave babies a bath every day sometimes twice a day in the summer! Cleanliness was very important. They also fed their babies Karo syrup mixed with evaporated milk as formula! I remember as some of my earliest memories as a child of my Nanny giving me evaporated milk to drink! I can still remember the taste too...yuck! They used simple flat birdseye cotton diapers with pins which now when you think about modern disposable and cloth diapers they have come a long way and have become much more complicated. Honestly, I have tried just about every disposable and cloth diapers out there and have decided that simple flats and covers are the most effective, simple diapering option out there so they were definitely doing something right there. 

Trying out  flats and pins the old fashioned way. Safety pins-not a good idea! But the same flats with a modern diaper cover works great!
I know things weren't all butterflies and rainbows as they appeared (ahem...Mad Men), but bottom line is that kids were taught to respect their elders and the world didn't revolve around them all the time. Things were also simpler and people used their common sense and didn't over think simple problems as we tend to do today. Once the big shift in society happened around the 1960's we defintiely left some wisdom behind that should be brought back to today's times!

What is your favorite time period or decade?