How To Avoid Gossip

Gossiping is an area of my life that the Lord is dealing with me about right now. Anything I say in this post keep in my mind I may have one finger pointing at you, but I have three pointing back at me. Thankfully through much prayer, bible study, and grace I feel like I have better control of my tongue now than I did before. So I want to share some tips with you on how to avoid being caught up in the middle of a juicy gossip conversation or even being the person to start a gossiping conversation.

Webster's dictionary defines gossip as "a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others".  That word habitually is what got me. Gossip is habitual is it not. Once you start talking about somebody it seems to spread like wild fire!

The Bible says this about our tongue:

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God's likeness. " James 3:9 (Can I raise my hand and say guilty right here?!)

"Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity." Proverbs 21:23

"Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark." James 3:5 (Think wild fire!)

"The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12:18

And there are many more verses similar to these as well. 

So in short we can see how dangerous and hurtful such a small part of our body can be if used carelessly, but at the same time it can be used for encouragement, healing, and building each other up.

We all know that situation. Your with a group of friends and they bring up the latest scandal about so and so and you've got a piece of gossip that will trump everything they know about this person or the person they are talking about has done something hurtful to you so you know it will feel good to say bad things about them as some sort of punishment for what they've done to you.  What do you do? Do you give into to the temptation? The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 10:13, "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." 

What are the ways we can endure it or escape that temptation?

1. Say something good-The person they may be talking about may be somebody who has hurt you and you really want to say something bad about, but don't. Instead find one good thing about that person or one good thing they have done and share that instead. You may have to dig really deep, but with a forgiving heart I'm sure you can find at least one good thing. I guarantee that will stop the bad mouthing pretty quick once they realize you aren't going to participate.
2. Leave the conversation-If you are sitting in the same area as others that are gossiping just get up and leave before you say anything. Excuse yourself to the bathroom or to get a drink, etc. that way you won't have to hear the conversation and be tempted.
3. Change the subject- If you are in the same area or talking on the phone with others who are wanting to gossip, simply change the subject to anything else (except somebody else) besides the person they are trying to bash. My opinion, the crazier thing you change the subject to the more likely the people you are talking to will get the hint that you do not want to gossip.
4. Tell them of your gossiping conviction-This one is a little harder especially if you are in a group of non-believers because they may not understand what a conviction is, but just tell whoever your talking to that the Lord has really been dealing with your heart about gossiping and that you are trying to break the habit so you'd rather talk about something else.

Just like with anything for us to really change a characteristic about our lives it has to be a heart change, not just a "in my head" change. So how do we change our hearts to not want to gossip anymore?

1. Prayer-ask the Lord to forgive you for gossiping and ask Him to change your heart to not have the desire to gossip anymore.
2. Reading the Bible-Here's a couple good verses in this subject:

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." 1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29

"You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart." 1 Peter 1:22

So here is my challenge for you and for myself: See how long you can go with only saying things that are good, helpful, encouraging, or would build somebody up.

I hope this is an encouragement to you as I know the study was for me! :)

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